Hii guys!!! Just to inform you that I might not write on this blog anymore. If and when I open another blog, I shall let you know. Thank You so much everyone. :)
Hii guys!!! Just to inform you that I might not write on this blog anymore. If and when I open another blog, I shall let you know. Thank You so much everyone. :)
Well, it has been almost four months since I shifted to Pune for my post grad. The minute I landed I had this weird feeling as though I had taken the wrong flight and landed in a wrong place. I felt like my last days were coming, I mean I thought I landed in an Arab country. The reason, let me tell you- Almost literally all the girls here tie up their faces with bed sheet sized shawls. I mean, what if I winked at a girl and she winks back and reveals that she’s got no nose? Man, in this city I feel like a blind man on a tour to Taj mahal. Anyway, I think I’m exaggerating too much.
My blog, poor thing, if it was my wife or something it would have poured kerosene on me and set me ablaze. Sorry. By the way, how you guys, those remaining one or two doing?? :)
This part of the country is so damn different from the south. These guys dance for everything. I mean everything. Well this reminds me that I’ve landed in Maharashtra. For one, I don’t know Marati. To top that, when I speak to them with my silly broken Hindi, you can imagine how pissing it can be. If you belong to the Thackrey family, make note, I should top the list- “To be kicked out.” But anyway, I’ve fallen in love with this city. I mean, what else to fall in love with? Girls? I’ll tell you when I get to see them. But seriously, love this city. It has the right mix. Not too crowded, no big traffic jams, no road rage; I’m coming from Bangalore by the way.
So yeah, after 3 months of life without a television, we finally bought one. Since then, CWG is the name spinning in my head all day. God, they found snakes there? I mean, what else if you name it CWG VILLAGE? I just hope things are completed on time; like I don’t want to see sign boards like “Take Diversion” while the athletes are running in the race.
And what’s this shit all about? I’ll just talk a line and chak comes the reply- Are you from Bangalore?? and I’ll be like- “Where the hell did you get that from?”
Anyway, I have loads to write about. But then, I get news nowadays that people whom I don’t want to read my blog are finding their way into here. So, until next time, take good care, see ya.
By the way, I ask these girls why they cover up their faces like lady terrorists; and they tell me- “Pollution.” Shit-o-shit. Crap-o-crap
1)Just because I did not update my blog, you people need not do this. Become responsible citizens; be friends with nature. My sincere request-
2)First things first, I have been in the well. Have you been in the well too?? I will keep you in my prayers (to Shaktiman), if you’ve not been in the well, don’t you worry.
3)I said “First things first” in the second point. Kick me on my backside.
4)Oh My God! I am unbelievably intelligent. Look, how well I tackled point 3.
5)I was asked to stay at home today apparently because people thought I was too “HOT” to handle. I floated on ‘cloud nine’ until mom gave me the killer punch; she told it was just ‘fever’. Environmentalists say it’s ‘Global Warming’.
6)I’ve learned to cook a few dishes lately. The word spreads so fast; it’s been a month since a guest last came home.
7)I know I waste time on the internet. But, what did great people do?? That guy Newton sat under an apple tree.
8)On deep introspection, I found a common word that wrecked my life; TABLES. In school, it was the ‘Arithmetic multiplication tables’; and then there were ‘Dining Tables’.
9)I asked my friend- “How did you spend your weekend??” He replied like Mr. Cool-as-cucumber, “I was ‘hanging’ with my friends.” I didn’t meet/talk to him ever since. I’m scared of ghosts.
10)I met this guy recently, and somewhere in between our conversation I told him- “I’m presently suffering. This bloody Writers Block.” He asked me innocently- “Is there a separate block for writers in your Apartment??”
11)I gave Roshan an invaluable advice- “When a girl is explaining how much she loves you, you should not interfere to correct her grammar.”
12)Hey guys, do you remember Dhoni? Yeah, the same guy, who once upon a time had long hair, which made girls lose their minds. Remember? Yeah, he went to Afridi before the match and threatened- “One more win and we’ll send Rakhi too.”
13)Roshan, who had an exam that day, told me- “My bed is full of books.” I advised him to sleep on the floor.
14)I guess you guys would remember the way I used to blow steam into your ears with all my Kidnapped-by-the-American-President dreams?? Here’s an update if you care. I’ve migrated from America. Later, I fell for an Italian girl, whom I met in an Indian Passenger train.
15)I told Roshan- “I have a cruch on ‘Mayanti’.” He thought I said- “I have a crush on ‘My Aunty’.”
16)Wow, it’s true. My grandfather had a farm. Not on facebook.
17)I’ve been giving Roshan a lot of advices lately. He told me he wanted to become the best ‘Neurosurgeon’ in town. I told him to relax and take it easy, cos the day I break his head, then the only person who could save him would be ‘HIM’. Irony.
18)My computer makes all sorts of grunting sounds nowadays. I think the Mother board needs a father board.
19)Breaking News: During the match, Maradona burnt more calories than his players.
20)I watched a 20-20 game between Essex and Middlesex yesterday. I thought ‘Star Cricket’ was a family channel.
This is for you, if you are not exactly a Genius-
Well that’s it for now. See you. Take care. Be in the well. Don’t forget my first point. ;)
1) English heroes fight to save the world; Indian heroes, to save the hero-in. On this note, let me tell you that I watched a Tamil movie called “Sura”. Here, the hero saves the hero-in some four times, then gets busy saving his locality and then he finally goes on to save the villain's wife *touch* *blow your nose* *wipe your tears*. I strongly suggest this movie if you have a constipation problem.
2) I’d been to Ooty recently along with my family. The driver was a nice guy. He began the journey on a wonderful note by saying- “I’ve driven 18 people to death till date.”
3) Apparently, my friend’s dog has a crush on Swami Nithyananda. I guess it’s the hair style.
4) Guys, I’ve joined twitter. I have 45 followers out of which 3 of them use twitter. You can follow me if you like my sense of tumour. Link.
5) I know a few girls. They are called the ‘awwwwwwww’ girls.
I say- “I missed you so much.” ----- “awwwwwwww…..”
“You have a sweet voice.” ------ “awwwwwwww…..”
“A dog bit my bum.” ---- “awwwwwwww…”
What is this, I say??
6) Do not teach small children silly things. They go do that at home and worse, they tell their parents who taught them such crap. I mean, all I taught was to sing Jack and Jill in a classical tone.
7) I think cows have a soft corner for me. They brush their tail onto my face whenever I walk past them. Or, am I missing something? Are they slapping me?
8) My day starts with an ayurvedic drink. It makes me feel I’m drinking liquefied cow dung.
9) Life’s boring without Rakhi Sawanth. Where is she? Hey Rakhi, I want to see you get angry ya, please.
10) Ok, on a serious note, if you’ve read this post successfully (without breaking any glassware around you), thank you so much. I don’t deserve it, so to say. I haven’t read a blog in like a month.
Thanks guys. Take care. Hw have you all been doing? Leave a note. And btw, I don’t charge for a facebook friend request. So, here’s the link anyway- Facebook. I shall come up with a fiction soon. Until then, see ya. :)
1) I’m not gonna eat ‘Smart Chips’, though it isn’t fried and in spite of Amir Khan endorsing it. Those chips are shaped like underwears.
2) Thanks to IPL, I’m a busy man. I’d be so glued to my television that if I was a married man, I wouldn’t have even noticed my wife leaving the house with her suitcases.
3) ‘Tear your shirt off and pull your hair off’ moments- You go to a restaurant to get your dinner packed. You place your order and wait endlessly doing non-sense with your cell phone. Fifteen minutes gone, you stand up and walk to the counter and ask- “Where’s my order?” Mr. Bean from the other side of the counter would give you a silly smile and say- “Just 5 mins, Sir.” Another 15 mins pass, and you transform into John Rambo and walk to the counter with anger dripping down your nose. Just when your throat readies itself to produce a thunder, tadaa, Mr. Bean hands you your food along with the bill. So, you shut your mouth and pat your pocket. “Damn! Forgot my wallet.” This episode is what I call- My Friday night.
4) I end up calling the Airtel Customer Care once in 2 weeks. I’m looking forward to make friends there. Ragini sounds cute. Kishore sounds like my father.
5) I want to be Rajnikanth in my next life.
6) Twice upon a time I wanted to be a cricketer. Then, once upon a time I wanted to be a cricketer. Now, I play cricket with my 4 year old niece.
7) I have the nose of a dog. I mean, I can smell that well. I can tell you what my neighbours had for breakfast today.
8) Just now, as I was thinking what point number 8 should be, my sister walks in. She shows me something and asks- “Howz this?” I say- “Nice Bangle.” She turns away hopelessly saying- “It’s an ear-ring.”
9) Back to cricket again (sorry for it though), I made it to the stadium for a couple of matches, screamed like crazy and ended up sounding like a crow on both the occasions.
10) Friendship after ‘love’ is crap.
11) I don’t mind a mosquito bite (unless of course I don’t fall and die at once of Malaria or something.) But the buzz it makes around my ear makes me want to murder those silly creatures.
12) I was thinking about my school days the other day. I remember, I had repeated an answer twice in the same paper, and when I got my answer script, it totaled to 102/100. My teacher scratched her head, and blindly gave me a 98.
13) How many celebrities have had a successful first marriage, uh? (Shut up, I’m not talking about that Tennis star who's famous for first round exits. Whats her name? Some Mirza right?)
14) I’m the worst singer ever. I recorded an emotional song the other day. During playback, I concluded, Cows sounded better.
15) I just checked the above 14 points, and wondered what a load of non-sense I am. Next time, I’ll try to show off my intellect. Don’t laugh.
(Sorry, it turned out to be a long post. But couldn't help it. Read it if you are patient enough. No issues otherwise. And it's been a long time. How have you all been, drop in a comment. :) )
I was getting drenched, but for a change I didn’t care. I dragged my foot along the wet mud, got into my grandfather’s old car. Again, for a change, I had the key, so I slid behind the wheel and shut the door after me. The windshield, translucent due to the relentlessly beating rain, showed me a big vehicle parked ahead; a hearse. My grandfather was sleeping in it; it was supposed to be his final journey. The door to my left, made way for my grandmother. She said to me as a tear ran down her cheek- “Follow the hearse to the cemetery.” I put the car onto ignition, clicked the wipers into action and waited to follow the hearse. The wipers danced themselves into wiping the tears off the windshield leaving our eyes craving for company.
Firing ‘hate-beams’ over the slices of bread waiting in his breakfast plate, “How can I miss you if you don’t leave…..” my grandfather managed to sing with his broken voice. My grandmother, who stood against the ‘Dressing table’ applying some kind of cream across her face, retaliated by hurling a comb at him. “Thanks for the song, hero!” he waved at me and shoved some more bread into his witty mouth. My grandmother stared at me, and I could notice that fire-balls had replaced eye-balls. So, in an attempt to please her, I said to him- “You are lucky to have such a nice wife, remember.” His mouth was full of bread, so he grunted and coughed.
A few minutes passed by, and I made a face expression suggesting it was getting late and we must be moving.
“Will you have breakfast, or will you keep painting your face?” he asked grandma.
“We have to get going.”
“Dear, can I bring the breakfast and coffee to you?”
He stood, winked at me and said- “I’m learning. I’m learning.”
I drove along, following the hearse, across the wet streets on a cloudy afternoon. The rain had reduced to a drizzle; the world around seemed to have muted itself from us; the silence slowly pinched us into reality. As the drizzle trickled out, I put the wipers to rest and turned to my grandmother. Those tears were much harder to wipe out.
In a few minutes we were ready to leave. My grandfather sat in behind the wheel and blew the horns wildly. I had to rush grandma to the car as she fed my ears with- “What a crazy man your grandfather is!” We got in, and within two blinks, he hit the accelerator and we were cruising along the main-road.
“Do you want directions?” grandma enquired as she emptied a bottle of water.
“Do you mean, in life?”
She chuckled. “No. To the…the..…… never mind.”
My grandfather drives his car like in the American movies, where the hero is running against time to save the world from mountain sized gorillas. I observed, when in the car, grandma sits very silent. I recollect grandpa once giving me this advice- “That’s how you keep women silent. The faster you go, the silent they would be.” Though I took the advice, in this case though, it was my grandpa who needed the plastering. My grandma, on the other side, wasn’t the one to shy away. I remember her telling me- she felt much closer to God when she was in grandpa’s car than during her morning prayers.
Anyway, as he drove along like a rich, reckless teenager, me and grandma sat quietly. In front of us, a school bus made steady progress. The children in the bus made themselves busy by waving at strangers, and cheering when their bus over-took other vehicles and exchanging high-fives. I saw their expressions change as we proceeded past them; I could hear them boo’ing us. My grandfather disappointed my expectations by not waving out at them. Sometimes I exaggerate his childishness.
Anyway, we had to stop for petrol, so we pulled up at a Petrol pump. “This petrol pump is like this car’s own mother. It’s never been fed anywhere else. Ask your grandfather about this, he’ll have something stupid to say about it” my grandma whispered to me. I got down, and as I saw the petrol being pumped into the car, I had a few silly thoughts running through my head. Anyway, once grandpa completed his joke filled conversation with the petrol-guy, we were set to leave. Just about then, the school bus sailed past us, and the children screamed their lungs out cheerfully.
The road was empty and that meant that there was nothing stopping grandpa. It took less than a minute to overtake the bus. For those children, it was like their ‘Games’ period being replaced with ‘Moral Science’. This time, my grandfather waved at them. If I was in that bus, I would be so pissed off that I would have frowned and skipped my evening glass of milk. Anyway, my exaggerated assumptions about grandpa proved to be right, and I dint know if I should feel good or bad about it. Just when I thought my grandfather emerged Mr. Victorious, the car started losing pace. In a few seconds, the car coughed itself to the side and grandpa got down for the surgery. He opened the bonnet, mulled over it and later kicked the grill in disgust. I didn’t want to see those school children dancing over the aisles at our pathetic defeat. None the less I could hear the cheer as their bus whizzed past us. I got out and asked grandpa- “You said your car never gives a head-ache?” He didn’t reply, rather he just closed the bonnet, asked me to sit as he slid into his seat. He put the car into ignition and it roared without a glitch. “This is my car. I maintain it. It neither gives a headache nor a typhoid.” He released the clutch, steered the car along the road to his left and headed along.
My grandfather is not the greatest person since mankind nor did he intend to be one, but that day he exhibited traces of simple humanity. My grandfather, he gave those children some disappointment, then some thrill but ultimately a little moment of happiness. I thought maybe I was making too much of it, but I just couldn’t resist thinking that way. I began liking him; in fact I liked him a lot. I turned to grandma, and we exchanged a simple smile. That smile, somehow I could never forget. It had a story to tell.
Somewhere along the route, it dawned to me that I was driving my grandfather’s car; the one which never gave a headache; the one which he never let me touch. My grandma, next to me, sat too silent for comfort. As I threaded along, following the hearse, which had my grandfather’s body in it, I was flooded with thoughts aplenty. I craned my neck and saw through the rear view mirror something which was the last thing I wanted to see on that day. It was a school bus approaching from behind, full of children involved in their regular activity of cheering and boo’ing. Call it ‘co-incidence; call it whatever, I hated it. I was worried for my grandma. Even as thoughts ran by and emotions ran high, the school bus steadily moved ahead. The children waved at me and signaled a ‘thumbs-down’. The bus moved ahead, now right parallel to the hearse. I don’t know what went through those young, innocent minds, but I was taken aback. They realized there was a dead body in the van; they lost the smiles on their faces, motioned their hands from head to chest in such a way as to offer a prayer, then turned around and maybe started off another game or so. At that very moment, I turned to my grandmother. Amidst all those tears, she gave me another unforgettable smile. This one had a bigger story to tell.
( Tina Angelin is one of my very first blogger friends. Apart from admiring all her 'message-oriented' poems, I used to love all the praises she used to shower upon me. Then, like so many in my followers' list, she kind of quit blogging. But anyway, she's lent me a beautiful poem she'd written for my poor little starving blog. Thanks a ton Tee. :) And sorries to everyone, I haven't been able to visit any of your blogs. Give me one more week of time, I'll hope to find some breathing space. Thanks and have a super-duper Sunday to Sunday. ;) )
FROM THE HEART
Is there anyone whose calling?
Are you looking out for me?
I chose to believe in miracles
And prayed that your heart be set free
We are all in this together
People far away too suffer
Don't be blinded by your own things
There are lots more to offer
Is the fear in your heart too heavy?
Are you lost for words?
Don't smile to hide your pain from me
Don't ever let it hurt
Stack it all away
Make sure you will stay
To cruise through this storm
Everything is going to be ok
We will go to places
Where the stars don't shine
Spread light among the broken hearted
Giving them new wings to fly
With Sparkle in her eyes
She wants you all to know
That the truth behind every person
Is highly signified
Hello people! :)
Wish you guys a Very Very Happy New Year! I know I’m late. But then, like my guru Mr. Rajnikanth says- “Late but Latest!” Christmas and a couple of weeks following it turned out to be complete fun. Spent the whole time with cousins; watched the much hyped 3 idiots and Avatar; went on family picnics; and watched a circus- “Gemini Circus’. I hadn’t witnessed a circus performance in this life yet, so it turned out to be fun. Aunties balancing bicycles, uncles climbing on rods, elephants playing cricket; woah, it was so much fun. But then, I was either sneezing or smashing my nose all through the performance. I was like- ‘Arjun the red nosed reindeer’, which by the way gave the jokers a good run for their money.
I played cricket with a ten year old kid and let him score some runs to make him happy. The kid, I guess was a news reporter or something in his last life, made it sure that anyone and everyone in and around Bangalore were aware about a 22 year old guy getting trashed by a ten year old kid in cricket.
About the movies, I liked both of them. The circus of running around for tickets, I bet turned out better than the actual Gemini Circus. 3 Idiots, I thought was something very close to me. I like Rajkumar Hirani’s way of making his point in all his movies. Except for a very few scenes, I guess the movie has no comparisons to Chetan Bhagat’s book. Anyway, the guy who sat next to me in the movie hall gave me a hard time. Every time there was a joke, he began ‘Horse-riding’. Ok, now to the other movie Avatar. Kudos to the James Cameron and his level of imagination. It was a truly awesome experience, though the story line of the movie was very typical of English movies.
The two action-packed weeks ended and life got back to normal. A whole lot of things worrying me; certain personal issues have gone to alarming proportions. I’m tired of acting normal or funny. Been in no mood for anything of late; I do not wish to share the reason for my sadness too. To add to the woes is some kind of a block in my head; I’m unable to think of anything to write. Anyway, I’m not gonna go back and check for mistakes in this post. I guess it’s been haywire, but anyway let it be.
Today though, I’m kinda happy. Some people can hurt me, but only they can make me happy. :)
How did you guys celebrate New year?? Sorry for being absent on your blogs too. I’ll try and write something soon. Take care. Bye bye.
Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.